The Fine Art of Failure

"I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles overcome while trying to succeed." 

- Booker T. Washington

A friend recently mentioned an incident with a young intern who was told that their part of the project was not up to the level the team needed to make the proposal succeed. The intern felt picked on, got defensive angry, and resorted to name-calling. My friend took them aside and tried to reason that it was not personal and, in fact, there were positive aspects in what they had turned in, but that they needed to try a little harder. He suggested shadowing others in the group with more experience might help them improve how to put the proposal together. This young person apparently had never faced honest criticism and became extremely upset. The intern, who held a lot of promise, decided to quit that day rather than face that they had not wildly succeeded beyond all expectations the first time at bat.   

We both were willing to excuse it as some youthful overconfidence when I stumbled across a Psychology Today article called "Declining Student Resilience: A Serious Problem for Colleges" by Dr. Peter Gray. It spoke to the fact many students are starting college without basic life skills to help them handle adversity or even failure. It's a result of controlling parents pushing their kids too hard to be successful or refusing to see their child's foibles and blaming everyone in sight for their own parenting misdeeds.  

These well-meaning parents have been orbiting their children for years to prevent adversity, including dealing with disappointments or even simple life challenges, to darken their child's door. One university reported that emergency calls for counseling had doubled over even the simplest disagreements, such as a student being called a bitch by her roommate or dealing with finances for the first time. Two other students needed counseling after they called the police when they spotted a mouse in their off-campus apartment. The officer was kind enough to set a mouse trap for the errant rodent.  

I've worked with many young adults, and most of the time, I've found them to be hard-working, conscientious, and have high emotional intelligence. However, one in four have difficulty taking direction, listening to differing opinions, and completing their projects within the specifications. When you offer feedback that is not glowing, they become defensive and extremely hard to work with. You wonder how they can fall apart over a comment like, "Hey, on the next set of reports, could you make the copies a little darker?"  

Our society is now reaping the effects to ensure our children have every advantage for some; it's not the path to success those parents had expected. 

In their quest to create successful children, these well-meaning parents have over-scheduled to the point their children have little downtime to examine who they are because each block of time is devoted to baseball, football, soccer, ballet, piano, etc. They are expected to exceed, and when they don't, it's not because they might lack the drive or talent but because the coach, the teacher, or the director needs to give them a fair shake. Worse, some parents do their children's homework to keep their grades up while rushing from one activity to another. The reality is that the facade will crack. The test grades will prove that the brilliant insights these kids have at home, for some reason, do not transfer to the classroom.  

These kids grow up to feel unworthy at the dawn of any adversity, and the rate of depression among young adults is at an all-time high. A  2012 Healthline article written by Michael Kerr found that:

• 1 out of every 4 college students suffers from some form of mental illness, including depression
• 44% of American college students report having symptoms of depression
• 75% of college students do not seek help for mental health problems

These statistics keep some college professors from giving bad grades for fear of causing emotional distress that can lead to severe psychosis. As a result, colleges lower their standards because of fear of lawsuits resulting from nervous breakdowns or suicides. Of course, this is not news to teachers who have been seeing this trend for years, and now those overly protected children are off to college, no more able to handle things than when they were in the sixth grade.   

This is why we must sit our kids down and tell them failure's okay. Heck, a good manager will tell their staff to try something new even if it doesn't always work out - hell, it might take many times at bat to even make contact with the ball. It's okay - that's life, and not everything you try will go perfectly the first time, the sixth time, or the hundredth time. It might even be good to abandon the whole concept of per; it just doesn't exist.

Sorry, you A-type personalities, you can try for excellence and go beyond the project's parameters, but it will never be perfect, so let yourself and your kids off the hook. Studies have shown that many successful CEOs and American Presidents were C students who could see the big picture rather than fixating on tiny details, which slowed them down. Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates were C students, as were John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, and George Bush Sr. and Jr.  

One of my colleagues told me recently that her son was asked to do a paper on a historical figure, and one of the paragraphs had to be a time that person faced adversity or failure. It is an important lesson for kids to absorb that greatness is not achieved overnight; it can be lifelong. Here's a short list of great people who failed many times before they finally got it right:

• Thomas Edison tried 1,000 light prototypes and finally successfully created the light bulb. 
• Albert Einstein was expelled from school and refused admittance to Zurich Polytechnic School. 
• Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a TV reporter because she was "unfit for TV."
• Dr. Seuss's first book, To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, was rejected 27 times. 
• Steven Spielberg was rejected by the University of Southern California Film School three times. 
• After one show at the Grand Old, Elvis Presley was fired and told to return to driving a truck. 
• Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, but it didn't stop him
  
  from pursuing what he loved doing. "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions, I have been entrusted to take the game-winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Success takes risk, and risk comes with failure. I've had so many projects never come together like I thought they would. But I learned so much more from the things that fail than I do from the things that are a success, and that trial and error makes the things that succeed that much sweeter. Failure helps me figure out what my clients want by eliminating the parts that have failed in the past. It helps me figure out what will work in the future and gives me the strength to take those chances. That's the lesson we need to teach our young people, and when faced with adversity - they'll embrace it as just one more brick on their own road to success. 

Life's a Pitch

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going because you might not get there."

 – Yogi Berra.

You're sitting in that business networking meeting, and everyone has 30 seconds to get up and pitch their business. You were not prepared to do an elevator speech, but you've been in the industry a long time, so it should be a slam dunk. As row after row of business people give their speeches, you think how much everyone will love yours even though you have not prepared one – but you do well presenting off the cuff. The person before you totally nails it is done before the timer goes off, but you've already sat through 20 presentations that you feel were not memorable.

You stand up confidently and open your mouth just as the timer starts; you have a half minute to tell the group what you do. You start strong with your name and business, but then it seems like there's so much to tell and only 30 seconds to tell it – what do you highlight? Your heart starts beating faster; your hands and armpits sweat like a marathoner. Your breath starts to get shorter. You try to communicate how your business is a beacon of best practices but stumble over the facts. You finally hit your high point when – PPPINNNGGG, the alarm goes off, and you sit down before you can even say your tagline or repeat your name. A woman nearby offers you a condescending look and says, "It's always difficult the first time you do it." You then realize you blew it in front of 50 potential clients.

Whether you're pitching for a new job, networking group, or getting that

new board member or movie financed, the elevator pitch is the key to summarizing your skill set and convincing that person that you know what you're talking about. It should be easy, yet saying what you do in a quick minute or less can be very daunting, so you need to be prepared.

I've done improvisation for over 25 years, which allows me to speak extemporaneously. Even more important is that most people know within 7 to 11 seconds of talking to you if they want to work with you so those first impressions are crucial.   

Years ago, I used to talk to businesses on behalf of United Way to encourage them to give. If I had used the same pitch for senior bankers and their support staff, I would have bored both audiences. The bankers wanted to know the return on their investment (ROI), so I would offer facts about how investing in afterschool programs cut down on high school drop-out rates. The support staff seemed more interested in the actual success stories of the clients we were serving. I was speaking on the same outcomes, just offering different viewpoints based on the audience I was addressing. 

So, how do you start  an elevator pitch? I always like to begin by simmering it down to who I am, what I do, and how I do it; think of it as your mission statement. Once you have that, write what you think is pertinent and edit it. Keeping it simple and specific allows your audience to quickly digest what you are saying because you are not trying to complicate things with more than one or two facts.

For instance, if you are trying to sell an employer on the need for benefits for their staff and

you have 30 seconds to try to get on their calendar – barfing up 10 facts will only confuse them and water down your message. Starting with "Did you know that 43% of employees report that they are considering changing jobs in the next year, but offering good benefits is one way to retain your staff?" will pique their interest. It will probably get you that appointment because it is simple specific, and addresses employee turnover, a problem both large and small businesses face daily.

According to an article in Forbes Magazine by author Nancy Collamer, the first step is identifying your target audience and crafting your words. Your pitch will be different if you're trying to sell yourself personally vs. selling your business or a program within the business. A few key points she offered included:

·    Just a few bullet points. Don't give your entire life story. Nobody has time for that. Just a few key facts that will spark your listener's interest.

·    Tailor your pitch to them – not you. For instance, if you are trying to get a decision maker to use your products, emphasize what will make their life easier by working with you and why it's a great fit. 

·   Avoid industry jargon and acronyms. You might assume that the person you are talking to should know that jargon, but people learn to reference things differently. Spell it out, and don't use slang.

·    Write it down and practice. Writing it down will help you retain the facts and practice in a mirror. Also, practicing role-playing with someone can help build your confidence and give you much-needed feedback. You should also time yourself so you stay within your given time limit.

Remember that 75 words are about 30 seconds, 150 words are approximately one minute, and three hundred words are about two minutes. You should have a speech for each increment, but you'll probably use the 30-second to one-minute pitch the most often.   

So the next time you go to your networking group, job interview, sales meeting, or product demonstration, have a great pitch you feel comfortable with and vary it weekly so you have four or five that you can pull out at a moment's notice. It will make you look polished and prepared, and instead of condescension, you'll get congratulations and maybe a few job offers.

The Butt Starts Here!

My first introduction into the employment digestive tract was in high school as a grocery store cashier.  I had a really great first boss named Mr. Butler.  He was an assistant manager, and he always treated the cashiers with respect.  I knew that I wouldn't be there for more than a year and this guy knew that was the case with the majority of the people he supervised.  Yet, he always took the time to check in and ask how I was doing.  If I had any problems or ideas, he wanted to know about it.  He asked us to take pride in ringing up our guests - because in his mind if you thought of them as your guests and not customers, you flat out treated them better.  He instilled in me that if you worked hard, and did a good job, your boss would notice. You just enjoyed being around this guy and wanted to work your ass off to make him happy.  In short, you felt valued and you wanted to make him and the company look good. To this day, he's one of best bosses I've ever had. 

I’m so grateful he was my first boss – it gave me a strong role model to compare the ones that would later wear that mantle in my working life.  I have been in the workforce since I was 16 which gives me roughly 37 years of experience in a wide range of industries from retail,

marketing, food service, non-profits, the arts, healthcare, education, child welfare, faith-based organizations and large corporations.  In that time, I've been in both senior management and a regular employee.  I've worked for some outstanding bosses and some real tools. Unfortunately, the tools far outnumber the ones who literally had their shit together.

Poorly run organizations have become a national epidemic.  Bad management and disengaged employees are wreaking havoc on our economy and these numbers bear it out:

•      The percentage of U.S. workers considered engaged in their jobs averaged 32%. The majority (50.8%) of employees were "not engaged," while another 17.2% were "actively disengaged." (Gallup)

·     Actively disengaged employees cost the US $450 billion to $550 billion in lost productivity per year and undermine the success of their co-workers. (Gallup)

•      At the end of 2015, the number of employees who voluntarily quit surpassed the number fired or discharged at 3.1 million.  (US Bureau of Labor Statistics)

•      Between 2009 and 2014, the S&P 500 earned a return of 121 percent. By contrast, a ratings-weighted portfolio of low-rated employee satisfaction companies earned just 91.5 percent, under-performing the S&P 500 by 29.5 percent. (Glassdoor Research)
·        1 in 5 workers intend to jump ship within a year. (Forbes Magazine)

Now if you are an employee, you're probably going - "Yeah, I know that's right."   If you are a boss or an HR director, you might want to stick your head in the commode and flush several times to end it all.  Keep in mind that unless your boss is the owner of the business, he/she is someone's employee and these stats are probably something they are struggling with too. That's why I’ve created the The Cheek Principle:  How to Keep Your Organization From Being Half-Assed.  I want organizations whether they are regular businesses, non-

profits or organizations like churches or PTA's to run better and to also have a sense of humor about how to get it done.   This is not a blog for just management or staff - it's for both because both sides need to understand each other in order to work well together.  The good news is that companies that have a strong sense  of the importance of a happy workplace get some solid dividends:

•      Stocks of S&P 500 public companies which were bought between 2009 and 2014 showed that the portfolios of companies with high employee satisfaction returned 243.3 percent versus the S&P 500 Index return of 121 percent during the same period. (Glassdoor Research)

•      Employees who are happy at work take 10 times fewer sick days than unhappy employees. (Wall Street Journal)

•      36% of employees would give up $5,000 a year in salary to be happier at work. (Randstad 2015 study)

•      Happy salespeople produce 37% greater sales. (Growth Engineering UK 2014)

•      82% of polled employees are more satisfied with their jobs when they receive recognition. (Globoforce)

The reality is that the best companies work to retain their talented people

because the staff members genuinely love working there and giving them incentives to do a good job is not that expensive.  The bad companies that are teetering on the edge lose their high performers to the good companies that know how to engage their staff with solid management.  Even some "Good to Great" companies have gone from "Great to Oblivion" when they forgot how to treat their employees, their customers and lost sight of their mission.  Let's face it - your employees are your customers.  If they are unhappy and won't use or recommend your products or services -- no one else will.

So why do so many organizations put up with crap-tastic management?  Why can’t they see when someone clearly is not managing their employees well and undermining their high performers?  Why do they double down on bad decisions rather than realizing their error and going back to the drawing board?  Why does the bible warn that “pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall?” (there’s actually a lot of good business advice in the Bible) Sadly it’s because the founders or senior executives were either never really trained on how to manage

people or the company has a kill or be killed mentality or the bottom line is the only thing that matters. If a bad manager is bringing in good numbers – then it’s okay look the other way. That mentality might work in the short term but it’s just plain not sustainable in the long-run.   

I'll be blogging about some common issues in every organization because human nature is human nature and you flat out can't escape it no matter where you work (in other words, you will run into assholes - it's an occupational hazard of life).  I'd love to hear your stories and ideas - especially if you had a boss that inspired you like Mr. Butler inspired me. If you have a negative story to share – I’d love to hear that too.

Thanks and here's to helping your organization become better with both cheeks intact - tattoos are optional.