Avoiding a Board of Detractors

As someone who has worked with nonprofits for over twenty years, I've seen one issue rear its ugly head more times than I can count. The issue, which I'm sure has been around since The Hospital of St. Cross, the first recorded charity established in Britain in 1136, is poor board recruitment, training, and management. Granted, the monks back in the Middle Ages were still figuring out how to run things, but I'm sure there was at least one blowhard who insisted that they were right and dismissed everyone else's ideas to make sure their agenda was the one that prevailed. Sound familiar? You don't have to work in a nonprofit to be exposed to that sort of bombast, but the very nature of charities sometimes attracts people who attach themselves to organizations for all the wrong reasons. This is one reason you need liability insurance to cover your board and volunteers. 

Like a regular corporation, charities are created because someone saw a need they believed was not being addressed. Unlike a traditional industry whose mission is to provide a product or service that can be sold with profits distributed to investors, nonprofits have a social entrepreneurial spirit that gives back to the community it serves. 

Once the charity's mission is established, the next step is to create a board of directors. In some states, it can be as small as three people, usually the group's founding members. The goal is to increase the number of board members who can help raise the organization's profile. But first, they need to have a good understanding of the definition of a functioning board.

According to the National Council on Nonprofits, board members are the fiduciaries who steer the organization toward a sustainable future by adopting sound, ethical, legal governance and financial management policies and ensuring the nonprofit has adequate resources to advance its mission.

         

The very nature of an honorable cause can sometimes bring around people whose intentions are not honorable. That's why I tell people who work at nonprofits to be very leery of anyone who comes in, seems to have all the answers, and then wants to take on a lot of responsibility with very little oversight. At first, the person seems like an answer to a prayer and is charming and willing to go above and beyond what is called for. But at some point, they can become manipulative and controlling. These individuals can cause fissures in an organization that can take a very long time to heal.

I've seen my share of bad board behavior. Here are a few tales that go under the heading of "Don't let this Happen to You!"

Cautionary Tale #1:

An arts group had managed to bring on board members from all over the community and wanted to make sure that its artists were represented. One

reliable actor was interested in serving on the board. It seemed like a natural match; the theatre had board members who represented the community and had the financial and legal skill set needed. Still, it needed someone to represent the performance side even though the Artistic Director was also on the board. Things were going well at first until the actor brought up a play that he had always wanted to do. The content was not keeping with the theater's mission, and the piece was voted down. The actor kept pushing, and the Artistic Director explained that it did not jive with the other plays they were considering. 

The actor persisted to no avail and then shifted his tactic to get the board to remove the Artistic Director. Luckily, the members saw through his manipulation, but it took months to get him off the board, damaging the group's cohesiveness. 

Cautionary tale #2

I was the executive secretary at a child welfare agency that included foster care. Ideally, foster parents are trained to take care of the children in their stead with the idea that it will not be a permanent placement but a place where a child can reside outside an institutionalized setting. At the same time, the state tries to facilitate reunification with their biological family. 

One of the foster care parents at this agency had nurtured a young girl

since she was an infant. The parents were getting back on their feet, and the state wanted to reunify the family. The foster mother understandably had grown close to this child, who was two years old, and had let a few people at the agency know that she was interested in adoption. She was told that unless there was a termination of parental rights by the state, the goal for the family was always reunification. The foster mother didn't want to help facilitate the supervised visits, making it difficult for the biological parents to meet with their daughter.

When it looked like the biological parents would receive custody of their daughter, the foster mother fled with the young girl in the middle of the night and left her husband and young son to contend with the press and legal fallout. The fact that a foster parent decided to take such a drastic action was bad enough, but the reaction from the Chairman of the Board of the organization was even worse.

She was a friend of the woman and called a press conference unbeknownst to the Executive Director to say that she completely supported what the fugitive foster mother was doing. This proclamation of support jeopardized several state welfare contracts, which would have significantly reduced the services the organization could offer and might subsequently cause staff lay-offs. None of this had crossed the Chairman's mind while she expressed her righteous indignation to the media.

 The woman and the child were found in the middle of the state. Luckily, she had not crossed the state line, or the legal ramifications would have been even more significant. The young girl was reunited with her biological parents, and the foster mom ended up in a world of legal trouble. 

 As a result, the Chairman resigned from the board. A new communication and board policy was put in place in which only the Executive Director could speak to the media on behalf of the agency. It took years to rebuild the trust between the government entities and donors with the organization just because one person decided to go rogue.

Here are a few suggestions on how to prevent a volunteer leadership implosion:

• Make sure you have liability insurance for board members and volunteers. These cautionary tales are a prime reason you need coverage if your board members go out of bounds and you are sued for damages.
• Develop a board handbook that each board member signs to ensure they understand their responsibilities and how to counter toxic behavior. Board members should attend an orientation where they can ask questions so everyone is on the same page. 
• Always ask a potential board member to serve on a committee first. If you start to see negative issues, you can deal with them before they join the board and serve as a legal entity.
• Do your due diligence. It's not enough for one or two people to vouch for the potential board member; do a background and reference check to verify their credentials. 

There is no better feeling at the end of the day than knowing that you made a difference in the world by doing charity work. Safeguarding that mission from someone whose intentions are unscrupulous, even if they seem magnanimous, is one of the most difficult challenges a nonprofit can face. Recognizing and stopping malignant individuals is a vital skill to hone and one that might determine the long-term sustainability of your organization. You don't need to be a monk from the 1100s to understand that.

Harass is Not Two Words

I don’t remember exactly what I said to the assistant manager at the chain restaurant I worked at when I was in my early 20s as a waitress. It might have been an intelligent or biting comment, but it didn’t warrant what came next. He responded by slapping me on the buttocks – hard.   The smack could be heard in the dining room, and he and I looked at each other, shocked.   For him, I think he was taken aback that it was so loud and that he had struck a staff member. For me, it was the fact that someone had spanked me like a child, but it was not done with the parental oversight of trying to teach a young progeny right from wrong; it was done to silence me.  A couple of other staff members had also seen it, so it would not be a “he said/she said” situation. As far as jobs go, server positions were easy to come by in Miami, so the threat of “You’ll never work in this town again!” was hollow. 

He ran away, trying to get as much distance between us as possible. Rather than just take it, to my amazement, I stood up for myself. As my left cheek tingled and stung from the force of impact, I followed him and cornered him in the alcove where the servers rolled silverware when we didn’t have a party that would be seated there.  He looked scared. He was a young manager, and this was clearly out of expertise, but he got the message.   

    “Hey Kelley, I’m sorry. I’m not sure why I did that, please – forgive me!” he begged, thinking more of his job than currying my dispensation.  

    “Don’t you ever lay a hand on any of the staff like that again, or I swear to God I will go to Bruce,” I said, referencing the area manager who would probably actually do something about it – the general manager – not so much. 

    “Okay, I’m sorry, let me make it up to you....Here’s a gift card for a free order of zucchini sticks,” he offered as a quick settlement. 

    “No thanks, keep it. But seriously, I don’t want you to ever touch the wait staff,” I said, walking away with my rump still burning. 

When I got off my shift, I went into the back bathroom with another female server and asked if she could see anything. We both looked, and there was a red handprint. Now, I had another witness who was ready to back me up if I ever needed it. Luckily, I didn’t. The Kiefer Sutherland look-alike never bothered the servers again and was later transferred. In hindsight, decades later, I should have reported him, but this was the early 90s, and who knows what would have happened - more than likely, nothing, and I would have been fired.

Fast forward to today, where claims against men, both famous and unknown, seem to abound and are being taken seriously.  I thought the torrent would have started when the allegations against Bill Cosby came to light. I had blogged then about my assault in college and received kind words of support, but it did not even approach the dam breaking after the Harvey Weinstein revelations. Maybe because Weinstein had affected more women, maybe because it wasn’t TV’s lovable Cliff Huxtable who seemed a world away from the terrible things that Cosby was accused of doing. Weinstein was never part of our national conscience. He was not “Fat Albert”. He never tried to teach us right from wrong. When his crimes came to light – it was easier to start shining the light on all the rodents in Hollywood, politics, and other industries. We are still watching them scatter like vermin to either deny the charges or, in some cases, come clean and admit what they have done. What we see now are serious repercussions – long overdue and badly needed. 

But in these early days of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movement, there is confusion on what constitutes a one-time lapse in judgment vs. a pattern of foul or abusive behavior.   A company that has a clear sexual harassment policy and a way to report issues is going to be way ahead of the ones that are just now figuring out how they are going to handle those accusations.  I’ve heard radio DJs wonder out loud if holding a door constitutes sexual harassment. The answer is no – it’s just good manners. I’ve heard young men worry that if they ask someone out and say no, does that mean harassment – again, not if you say thanks and move on.  

The Harvey Weinstein Effect has exposed countless men who use their positions to pressure women for favors and then deny it as per their lawyers or try to make into the women’s fault for consenting to meet them privately in their office or after work for dinner or coffee.   Many women are programmed to be people pleasers – so even if our internal instincts are screaming – “OH HELL NO!” many will take that private after-hours closed-door meeting and hope for the best.   

What all companies need to do now is review their procedures for

reporting abuse. An incident report form needs to be developed, and a confidential way to report infractions must be implemented. Management needs to have a clear expectation of what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior, and it needs to be a training that all employees– including executive staff and board members- should attend. The last thing any company needs right now is even a hint of impropriety, so sitting down and explaining the rules should be part of a regular training/new orientation program. Knowing your rights and how to report an issue to the proper chain of command is now a vital skill in the workplace.

Here are a few steps that might help if you are ever in a situation where you need to report abuse or are thinking of reporting an incident that happened in the past:

•      If it is recent - report it immediately to the HR department. If you work for a small company and HR is the boss’s wife, and he’s the perpetrator, tell a friend. 
•      Document everything that happened – date, time, place, what was said and anyone who could have witnessed it.   
•      Save the report in several places so it can’t be deleted or hacked.
•      If you feel that you will not get any help from your company’s Human Resources Department, contact the Employment Equal Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and make a complaint.
•      If you have something like Legal Shield, you can talk to an attorney who can guide you on how to file a grievance or lawsuit if it comes to that.

Thankfully, for victims of sexual harassment and abuse, the tide is turning, and there is no longer a stigma attached to speaking out. Now if another server gets slapped by a manager, she can legally slap back. 

Buttressing Your Security

Do you fear the Lord?" a donor asked me as he was dropping off some items for children at the foundation I used to work for.. Normally, I would have just said "yes" and thanked him for his donation. Still, it felt different this time; I was alone in the office, and that line sounded like the type a serial killer says right before he strikes.  

I said yes but moved toward the receptionist's desk, where she kept her pencils, pens, and a pair of sharp scissors in a cup on her desk. While the man continued to fill out his donation papers, I quietly took the scissors out of the cup and put them behind my back in the waistband of my slacks. I had it nearby if I needed a weapon to ward off this potential Ted Bundy. 

I kept him talking until he had finished filling out his paperwork and told him how much the kids would appreciate the items he brought. I also sized him up – he was no taller than me and probably in his 50s. If I needed to act quickly, I would stab him in the eye, immobilizing him and giving me time to run out into the hallway and call for help.

I was surprised at how calmly I could decide to use lethal force if necessary, and I was also kicking myself for leaving the door unlocked while everyone else was at lunch. He mentioned that he had seen charities not give items to those in need, and I assured him that the sick kids in our hospital would get the items he donated. That explained his need to ask if I was a God-fearing woman so he'd know that I wouldn't keep the new Game of Life and Barbie dolls he was donating. 

He handed me his paperwork, and I walked him to the door, thanking him again for his donation while my heart was pumping so hard I was pretty sure he could hear it. I told him I would send a photo of us delivering the items. Once he was out in the hallway, I locked the door and put a chair in front of it. I returned the scissors to it's rightful holder and plopped down in a chair at the reception desk because my legs felt like they would give out from under me. Thirty minutes later, my co-workers started to trickle back and were surprised that the door was locked and a chair was blocking the door. When I told them what happened, we decided to have an impromptu staff meeting to develop a security policy. From that day forward, the door was locked if even two staff members were present, and we installed a doorbell to alert us if someone had arrived. It was simple enough and added some peace of mind.

Fast forward to today and my current career, where I make cold calls on small businesses and walk into security situations on any given day. Over the last year, I have physically walked into over 1,200 small businesses and about 85% of the time, I am often discouraged and wholly appalled at the lack of security most places have for their staff. I've walked into offices where I stood for five minutes, called out, and said hello. I heard people in the back, but no one came to the front. In the meantime, laptops, cell phones, and purses in the front could be quickly taken while the staff was hanging out in the back. With no cameras to be seen anywhere – a person could walk away with thousands of dollars of equipment in a briefcase virtually undetected, which would probably include sensitive information about the business. The other day, I walked into an office with an open door and a photocopy of six credit cards on top of the desk - it would have been nothing for me to slip out with those numbers to use as I wished. Worse, I've been in offices and announced myself only to have a lone woman walk up, startled that I had been standing there and she had no idea anyone was around. A single staff member is very vulnerable if they are unaware of the potential dangers. I was lucky that my "Fear the Lord" dude was harmless, but others might not be so lucky.

For my personal security, if no one comes to the front and I hear someone in the rear office, I NEVER walk back for a few reasons. One reason is that depending on the work policies at that particular organization, if you startle someone and they have a gun, they could shoot you in self-defense, thinking you are a burglar. Another reason is that as a woman, I could get jumped, so I will either write down the business's name or take a picture of the front door to remind me to call them later from the safety of my home.

My office experience heightened my own sensitivity, so I know that security is not something you play around with. It needs to be taken seriously for the sake of your staff and business. The best part is that it can be done relatively inexpensively.

Here are some simple suggestions for how to protect you,  your employees, and your customers:

• If you have the budget for a receptionist/administrative assistant, have them sit up front and set up a system of name badges for visitors. Your visitors should sign in and have the receptionist ask who they are visiting. Reception is the "gate-keeper," so give them a clear policy of how to guide guests to the people they need to see but train them to anticipate an issue before it becomes a crisis.

• For small businesses that do not depend on retail foot traffic, keep the door looked and install a doorbell or intercom system in which your guests can announce themselves. If you expect them, send someone to the front to open the door; if not, ask them to leave their information in the front, and someone will get back to them. 

• If you can't afford a dedicated receptionist and have the room - create a small receiving area where a guest can walk in the front and call who they need to see – the door to the rest of the office should be locked. The person who is meeting with a guest can walk up and let them into the rest of the office. 

• At night, ensure that the parking lot is well-lit and no one is left alone in the office. The last two staff members should use the buddy system to walk to their cars. Make a  policy that allows them to finish their work from home to prevent being the last person out the door after dark.  

     It's not about being paranoid; it's about being safe. Most of the time, you and your employees will not have an issue, but just like preparations for a weather emergency, you need to plan in advance to help keep everyone out of harm's way. Ultimately, having a boss who will protect their greatest "asset" speaks volumes about your integrity and how much you value your staff. 

The Fine Art of Failure

"I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles overcome while trying to succeed." 

- Booker T. Washington

A friend recently mentioned an incident with a young intern who was told that their part of the project was not up to the level the team needed to make the proposal succeed. The intern felt picked on, got defensive angry, and resorted to name-calling. My friend took them aside and tried to reason that it was not personal and, in fact, there were positive aspects in what they had turned in, but that they needed to try a little harder. He suggested shadowing others in the group with more experience might help them improve how to put the proposal together. This young person apparently had never faced honest criticism and became extremely upset. The intern, who held a lot of promise, decided to quit that day rather than face that they had not wildly succeeded beyond all expectations the first time at bat.   

We both were willing to excuse it as some youthful overconfidence when I stumbled across a Psychology Today article called "Declining Student Resilience: A Serious Problem for Colleges" by Dr. Peter Gray. It spoke to the fact many students are starting college without basic life skills to help them handle adversity or even failure. It's a result of controlling parents pushing their kids too hard to be successful or refusing to see their child's foibles and blaming everyone in sight for their own parenting misdeeds.  

These well-meaning parents have been orbiting their children for years to prevent adversity, including dealing with disappointments or even simple life challenges, to darken their child's door. One university reported that emergency calls for counseling had doubled over even the simplest disagreements, such as a student being called a bitch by her roommate or dealing with finances for the first time. Two other students needed counseling after they called the police when they spotted a mouse in their off-campus apartment. The officer was kind enough to set a mouse trap for the errant rodent.  

I've worked with many young adults, and most of the time, I've found them to be hard-working, conscientious, and have high emotional intelligence. However, one in four have difficulty taking direction, listening to differing opinions, and completing their projects within the specifications. When you offer feedback that is not glowing, they become defensive and extremely hard to work with. You wonder how they can fall apart over a comment like, "Hey, on the next set of reports, could you make the copies a little darker?"  

Our society is now reaping the effects to ensure our children have every advantage for some; it's not the path to success those parents had expected. 

In their quest to create successful children, these well-meaning parents have over-scheduled to the point their children have little downtime to examine who they are because each block of time is devoted to baseball, football, soccer, ballet, piano, etc. They are expected to exceed, and when they don't, it's not because they might lack the drive or talent but because the coach, the teacher, or the director needs to give them a fair shake. Worse, some parents do their children's homework to keep their grades up while rushing from one activity to another. The reality is that the facade will crack. The test grades will prove that the brilliant insights these kids have at home, for some reason, do not transfer to the classroom.  

These kids grow up to feel unworthy at the dawn of any adversity, and the rate of depression among young adults is at an all-time high. A  2012 Healthline article written by Michael Kerr found that:

• 1 out of every 4 college students suffers from some form of mental illness, including depression
• 44% of American college students report having symptoms of depression
• 75% of college students do not seek help for mental health problems

These statistics keep some college professors from giving bad grades for fear of causing emotional distress that can lead to severe psychosis. As a result, colleges lower their standards because of fear of lawsuits resulting from nervous breakdowns or suicides. Of course, this is not news to teachers who have been seeing this trend for years, and now those overly protected children are off to college, no more able to handle things than when they were in the sixth grade.   

This is why we must sit our kids down and tell them failure's okay. Heck, a good manager will tell their staff to try something new even if it doesn't always work out - hell, it might take many times at bat to even make contact with the ball. It's okay - that's life, and not everything you try will go perfectly the first time, the sixth time, or the hundredth time. It might even be good to abandon the whole concept of per; it just doesn't exist.

Sorry, you A-type personalities, you can try for excellence and go beyond the project's parameters, but it will never be perfect, so let yourself and your kids off the hook. Studies have shown that many successful CEOs and American Presidents were C students who could see the big picture rather than fixating on tiny details, which slowed them down. Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates were C students, as were John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, and George Bush Sr. and Jr.  

One of my colleagues told me recently that her son was asked to do a paper on a historical figure, and one of the paragraphs had to be a time that person faced adversity or failure. It is an important lesson for kids to absorb that greatness is not achieved overnight; it can be lifelong. Here's a short list of great people who failed many times before they finally got it right:

• Thomas Edison tried 1,000 light prototypes and finally successfully created the light bulb. 
• Albert Einstein was expelled from school and refused admittance to Zurich Polytechnic School. 
• Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a TV reporter because she was "unfit for TV."
• Dr. Seuss's first book, To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street, was rejected 27 times. 
• Steven Spielberg was rejected by the University of Southern California Film School three times. 
• After one show at the Grand Old, Elvis Presley was fired and told to return to driving a truck. 
• Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, but it didn't stop him
  
  from pursuing what he loved doing. "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions, I have been entrusted to take the game-winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Success takes risk, and risk comes with failure. I've had so many projects never come together like I thought they would. But I learned so much more from the things that fail than I do from the things that are a success, and that trial and error makes the things that succeed that much sweeter. Failure helps me figure out what my clients want by eliminating the parts that have failed in the past. It helps me figure out what will work in the future and gives me the strength to take those chances. That's the lesson we need to teach our young people, and when faced with adversity - they'll embrace it as just one more brick on their own road to success. 

A Cheeky Concept - The Power of Yes And....

I was walking in the park the other day when I came across a golden retriever who was having the best time in the stream. She was trying to get a stick. Well, it wasn't precisely a stick; it was a log, about twenty feet long and maybe 20 inches in circumference. You could tell by the cheerful expression on her face that she was convinced she could get it and drag it to the bank. She would then proudly bring it to her masters, watching from the bridge. This dog tried everything she could to get that log:  she chewed chunks off it and wanted to push it with her blond paws and nose. Every time she failed, she kept going - undeterred by the obvious. She did succeed in getting one side of the log onto the bank. Her human parents watched in amusement and finally called her to come to them. She obeyed immediately and trotted up the bank, quite happy that she had gotten the log that far. Those watching her caper unfold admired her enthusiasm and applauded as she approached the bridge, soaking wet but proud of what she had accomplished. She was a dog on a mission, and the idea that it was impossible never entered her K-9 brain. She just had fun and did her best with what she had. That's all she really needed.    

I walked away from the bridge and that soggy retriever and thought about how powerful positive thinking is. Having that sort of boundless optimism in our society can be challenging. We're in a world where snarky comments rule social media. Often, the bad seeds yell the loudest and push their own agenda, while the people who come up with new and innovative ideas are either ignored or their ideas are stolen by the head bully. Being positive and thinking outside the box doesn't get you far on shows like The Real Housewives or Survivor. To succeed, you must be willing to stomp on anyone - a buddy or colleague to get ahead. The worst thing about these sorts of shows is that they kill creativity and the importance of true collaboration. In reality, these shows don't show the truth. In act, Mark Burnett, creator of Survivor and countless other shows, refers to them as "unscripted dramas."  

Those meltdowns aren't authentic  - they are staged because, in the real world, you'd be out on the street speaking to your boss, coworker, friend, or lover like that. But those train wreck moments get ratings and plenty of views on YouTube, and for some, it seems like a logical way to behave to get ahead. You can get hundreds of thousands of clicks, but eventually, it will catch up to you. Unlike the skewed world of reality TV - it can ruin your reputation and even have your children taken away - just ask DaddyOFive - a YouTube channel that showed parents pranking their kids in the name of monetized views, which eventually turned so vicious - child protective services had to be called in.  

I like to look at how a simple affirmation can change your life. In the movie Yes Man, Jim Carrey's mundane life is turned upside down when a self-help guru challenges him to say "yes" to the opportunities that come his way.   He goes from being a heartbroken, self-imposed shut-in to the fun guy everyone wants to hang out with.   He saves a man from jumping off a ledge by using the guitar lessons he's started taking to sing Jumper by Third Eye Blind. He gets his best friend's fiancee to like him when he throws them an engagement party. He suddenly goes on spur-of-the-moment trips on flights to anywhere. He finds love because he breaks out of his comfort zone and meets a woman who, on the surface, would not be his type - a singer in an avant-garde band whose quirkiness inspires him to be a different man.   By saying yes to all sorts of possibilities, he becomes a self-realized human willing to meet life head-on rather than run away from it. 

I use improvisation for team building, and one of the first rules I give to my students is to never block offers - it's essential to say "Yes, and..."  For instance, if I start a scene with, "Hey, it's great that we're finally married and on our honeymoon in Paris," and my scene partner comes back with, "We're not married, and we live in New Jersey!", the scene crashes and burns in the first few seconds before it can even get off the ground. The best improvisers will accept the "offer" and build on it - for instance -  "Yes, and I'm so glad that my mother wanted to come with us!"  Now, in those first few lines, we're in agreement about our relationship location, and now that person has added another level of the meddling mother-in-law, which is always comedy gold. Not blocking offers is critical to good improvisation but also vital in taking your life and business to the next level. 

Tina Fey, one of my comedy goddesses, explores this further in her book Bossy Pants. "Now, in real life, you're not always going to agree with everything that everyone says. But the Rule of Agreement reminds you to 'respect what your partner has created' and at least start from an open-minded place. Start with YES AND... and see where that takes you."  She explains that freeing your mind from negativity helps you find new discoveries if you allow yourself to take that chance. "There are no mistakes, only opportunities...Many of the world's greatest discoveries have been by accident. I can look at the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup or Botox."  

We've all worked with people who have the mentality of "No, we can't do that," "No, that's not in our budget," or  "That's the way we've always done it."  If you want to keep the status quo and not grow, don't bring new people in with new ideas. Stay the way you are and stagnate,,; eventually, it will do you in.   

I once worked at an international organization where the program staff wanted to take trips overseas for any event they could.  It was eating holes in their budget, but they insisted that the frequent trips were necessary to keep up communication with their clients, even if it was not specifically to do training. To minimize the journeys between activities,  I suggested teleconferencing from the office in Atlanta so that the overseas clients would get direct contact from our US staff much more often. The cost would be minimal, and the program staff could spend more time at home with their families (albeit they might have to work in the middle of the night to catch clients in Beijing or Nairobi during their workday, but at least they could go home rather than spend 24-hours straight flying and at airports). The Director of Finance was on board with it, but the Program Director threw such a fit that the idea was scrapped. Eventually, the program had to be eliminated because the cost of even doing the twice-a-year face-to-face training overseas was prohibitive. If the Program Director had been on board with teleconferencing, we would have saved her program and increased the number of people she could train. But, she was so hard-wired to not accept anyone's ideas but hers that eventually, she lost her job.   

I was working with a business group recently, and we worked on the Yes and... game.   The Yes and ... is a good group activity for everyone to brainstorm; many advertising agencies use it.  We wanted to figure out how to get the arts out there to more people in the local business community.  One of the other facilitators, Sally Corbett, suggested we answer the question, "How do we change the shape of the Dorito?"  My next suggestion was to make it flower-shaped, like a daisy.  Her next suggestion was to offer dips. My next idea was to have the drops with plant-based colors that were bright and fun.  She then suggested that you could break off the petals and dip them.   I added that if it was sold with a snack plate like a palette, you could paint on it, and the proceeds could go towards arts organizations. We did it with the group, and they understood that being open to other people's imaginations and building on them is good for business.  Think what the brainstorming session for the Chick-fil-A cows must have been like:  "Yeah, we could have cows that encourage people to eat chicken because burgers are made from beef."  "Yes, and" another colleague would add, "they could be slightly mysterious, a little threatening - "  "Yes, and" another staff member would chime in, "They could have really, really bad grammar and handwriting in their signs!"  Boom, one of the most successful advertising campaigns ever, was born. 

So feel free to say yes if someone invites you to try something new. Give it a try; you might like it. There have been times that I literally went to places or events kicking and screaming, and once I got over myself and relaxed, I was happy that I went. You can sit on the couch anytime with the pets or kids and watch a movie but don't turn down an offer that you know you should take advantage of because it takes you out of your comfort zone and gets you to think outside of your cubical. One of my favorite lines from the movie We Bought a Zoo is when Matt Damon says: "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. It's just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."  Yes, and... I couldn't agree more.  

Life's a Pitch

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going because you might not get there."

 – Yogi Berra.

You're sitting in that business networking meeting, and everyone has 30 seconds to get up and pitch their business. You were not prepared to do an elevator speech, but you've been in the industry a long time, so it should be a slam dunk. As row after row of business people give their speeches, you think how much everyone will love yours even though you have not prepared one – but you do well presenting off the cuff. The person before you totally nails it is done before the timer goes off, but you've already sat through 20 presentations that you feel were not memorable.

You stand up confidently and open your mouth just as the timer starts; you have a half minute to tell the group what you do. You start strong with your name and business, but then it seems like there's so much to tell and only 30 seconds to tell it – what do you highlight? Your heart starts beating faster; your hands and armpits sweat like a marathoner. Your breath starts to get shorter. You try to communicate how your business is a beacon of best practices but stumble over the facts. You finally hit your high point when – PPPINNNGGG, the alarm goes off, and you sit down before you can even say your tagline or repeat your name. A woman nearby offers you a condescending look and says, "It's always difficult the first time you do it." You then realize you blew it in front of 50 potential clients.

Whether you're pitching for a new job, networking group, or getting that

new board member or movie financed, the elevator pitch is the key to summarizing your skill set and convincing that person that you know what you're talking about. It should be easy, yet saying what you do in a quick minute or less can be very daunting, so you need to be prepared.

I've done improvisation for over 25 years, which allows me to speak extemporaneously. Even more important is that most people know within 7 to 11 seconds of talking to you if they want to work with you so those first impressions are crucial.   

Years ago, I used to talk to businesses on behalf of United Way to encourage them to give. If I had used the same pitch for senior bankers and their support staff, I would have bored both audiences. The bankers wanted to know the return on their investment (ROI), so I would offer facts about how investing in afterschool programs cut down on high school drop-out rates. The support staff seemed more interested in the actual success stories of the clients we were serving. I was speaking on the same outcomes, just offering different viewpoints based on the audience I was addressing. 

So, how do you start  an elevator pitch? I always like to begin by simmering it down to who I am, what I do, and how I do it; think of it as your mission statement. Once you have that, write what you think is pertinent and edit it. Keeping it simple and specific allows your audience to quickly digest what you are saying because you are not trying to complicate things with more than one or two facts.

For instance, if you are trying to sell an employer on the need for benefits for their staff and

you have 30 seconds to try to get on their calendar – barfing up 10 facts will only confuse them and water down your message. Starting with "Did you know that 43% of employees report that they are considering changing jobs in the next year, but offering good benefits is one way to retain your staff?" will pique their interest. It will probably get you that appointment because it is simple specific, and addresses employee turnover, a problem both large and small businesses face daily.

According to an article in Forbes Magazine by author Nancy Collamer, the first step is identifying your target audience and crafting your words. Your pitch will be different if you're trying to sell yourself personally vs. selling your business or a program within the business. A few key points she offered included:

·    Just a few bullet points. Don't give your entire life story. Nobody has time for that. Just a few key facts that will spark your listener's interest.

·    Tailor your pitch to them – not you. For instance, if you are trying to get a decision maker to use your products, emphasize what will make their life easier by working with you and why it's a great fit. 

·   Avoid industry jargon and acronyms. You might assume that the person you are talking to should know that jargon, but people learn to reference things differently. Spell it out, and don't use slang.

·    Write it down and practice. Writing it down will help you retain the facts and practice in a mirror. Also, practicing role-playing with someone can help build your confidence and give you much-needed feedback. You should also time yourself so you stay within your given time limit.

Remember that 75 words are about 30 seconds, 150 words are approximately one minute, and three hundred words are about two minutes. You should have a speech for each increment, but you'll probably use the 30-second to one-minute pitch the most often.   

So the next time you go to your networking group, job interview, sales meeting, or product demonstration, have a great pitch you feel comfortable with and vary it weekly so you have four or five that you can pull out at a moment's notice. It will make you look polished and prepared, and instead of condescension, you'll get congratulations and maybe a few job offers.

Half Assery or Confusing Dissent with Disloyalty

“If you are the smartest person in the room – you haven’t hired well.”

-      Rory Brown – President, Bleacher Report

Any leader worth their salt has got to be open to other people’s ideas and more specifically open to dissenting opinions.   Your staff has got to be able to speak their mind and let you know where the weaknesses are in your plan – it’s just good business.  Better they figure out the problems in advance than launching a full campaign only to have customers and bad reviews on-line ruin what might have been a good product.  If it had been vetted properly by staff who felt comfortable telling you where the draw-backs were, much of the issues your company might be facing could have been avoided.  Worse, you will hear in hindsight that there was staff who knew from the get-go that it was a bad idea but because they had been shot down so many times before, they wanted to see the latest campaign go up in smoke in a misguided sense of vindication.

In a recent article by the Harvard Business Review,  Edgar Schein, a professor emeritus at MIT Sloan School of Management asked a group of students why they wanted a role in management.  They replied that “it means I can now tell others what to do.”  That’s the wrong answer if you truly want to be a leader. Schein warned that the “tacit assumption” among executives “is that life is fundamentally and always a competition,” hurts not helps organizations.   If that is the sort of climate you are cultivating at your business, than you are guilty leading your organization off into a deep crevice of half-assery.

Encouraging your staff to compete rather than collaborate will only raise the specter of suspicion and animosity.  It will close communication and people will hoard information because they are afraid of being undermined by another staff member.  They will end up telling you what you want to hear because the one who curries the most favor with the boss wins.

You’d think the days of the yes men are over but as we’ve seen too many times in the business and political world, people who surround themselves with those that cannot or will not speak up can lead to failure.  Sure many managers can blame it on their underlings but at the end of the day, it’s ultimately your ass that has to answer for a poor decision.  Placing the blame on those who work under you shows that you are either someone who can’t manage people well or won’t listen when they try to offer you good advice.  Neither quality bodes well for a person in who is supposed to lead a successful organization.

A couple of years ago, I worked for a man who wanted to remodel the office space where the main administrative area was.  He had seen some models of an open floor plan where the staff sat at tables and worked – not in cubicles or in private spaces but everyone out in the open work stations with phones in one central area.  These open-office configurations have been all the rage for the last few years. They also supposedly saved money by not putting up walls or allowing staff to have some privacy while they work.  For an insecure manager like my boss at the time, they could look over their employee’s shoulder at a moment’s notice to see if they are working or completing a bracket for the Final Four during March madness.  Part of my bosses’ great plan was to have the women out in the open because most of them were administration while the senior managers who were men had their own offices.  

I pointed out that having all the men and women literally segregated looked really, really bad – like workplace discrimination that could lead to a lawsuit kind of bad.  He offered to give me an office as well just to balance out the estrogen vs. testosterone equation so he could counter a potential lawsuit.   I just shook my head and said that I would still get push back from staff because many of them felt that they could not be productive in the type of office space that he was promoting.  The women felt like they would be discriminated against and for many the openness of the office would be too distracting.  Finally, he begrudgingly scrapped the plan.  Since then, the whole concept of open office space has come under attack from such publications as Forbes, Inc., Bloomberg and Fortune magazines.  The publications have reported that the concept can make employees miserable, communicate a lack of trust, cause a higher transmission of germs which result in an increase in sick days and in the end cost more in lost productivity than if companies had just spent the money building walls for the office.   My opposition was a risk but in the end saved the organization from low employee morale and a reduced bottom line.  Of course, my boss might not have seen it like that at the time but the staff appreciated that I went to bat for them.  I expressed their views as well as my own on the weaknesses of the plan - I offered dissent which kept a bad decision from being made - it did not make me disloyal if anything it proved my value.

As someone who facilitates team building – I’m always emphasizing collaboration and the open sharing of ideas.  It comes from my background in improvisational theatre.  In improv - one of the cardinal rules is the importance of making the other person look good and vice versa. 

It takes the ego out of the scene and the actors have to work together and not try to out-do one another - its simple collaboration and not competition.  Games like “Yes, and…” help establish a simple idea that everyone has to build on – and no one’s idea is denied or blocked.  For instance, someone could start with “I want our new ad campaign to have a horse in it.” The next person might say, “Yes and the horse’s best friend is a golden retriever puppy,” the next person would add “Yes, and when someone tries to adopt the puppy from the farm, the horses chase after the car,” and so on (FYI- this was a 2014 Superbowl commercial for Budweiser – it didn’t talk about beer but created a buzz on social media and a sequel for the next Superbowl – check it out)

“Yes and…” is a great tool to develop ideas because nothing is too outlandish to be considered and everyone’s ideas are valid.   Think back to the year 2000 when the Aflac Duck was first introduced.   That was some serious out of the box thinking that probably came from people building on some crazy ass idea and now it’s one of the most recognizable symbols in the corporate world. Now think what would have happened in those meetings if every crazy idea was put down and the only person whose opinion counted was the person in charge.  You probably would not have had the collaborative effect of those commercials which have been incredibly successful.

So it goes with managing people – if you are humble enough to allow other ideas– amazing things will happen for your organization.   As a leader you need to be open to dissent, guide and nurture it. Sure, there are going to be naysayers for the sake of vetoing things that are not their idea but the more open you keep the line of communication; the less likely your team is to be on the defensive and that naysayer will eventually learn to work with and not against the group.  When criticism does need to be used – your team will be open to it because you have created that sort of symbiotic relationship of trust.

The February 2017 issue of Fast Company asked 96 entrepreneurs from industries as diverse as Google, Cher (the entertainer), PepsiCo, NASA and Black Lives Matter to offer advice on to how to lead in a world that seems uncertain but still offers a wide range of opportunity.  Most if not all of them had variations on these sound business practices:

·        Encourage staff to speak up in meetings and challenge the status quo.

·        As the boss, don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty.

·        Be an energizer and give your power away.

·        Empower the employee to be boss.

·        Be a supporter-in-chief – encourage your staff’s outside interests.

·        Encourage competition with other companies but not within your own team. 

So if you are a person who is managing a group of people, you must ask them to look at your proposal, program, grant, product, campaign, etc. and offer frank and honest feedback that includes a thoughtful consideration of the pros/cons and where the weaknesses might lie.  Listen with an open mind and thank them for their input.   The world’s best CEO’s didn’t get there by being the smartest person in the room – they got there by hiring people that they could trust to tell them the truth and accept it even if it was not always what they wanted to hear.